2

Macbeth and Macduff Get Into an Argument Over Semantics.

MACBETH: Okay, but thou wast still born, right?
MACDUFF: No. Untimely ripped.
MACBETH: Okay, but after thou wast ripped, thou wast of woman born.
MACDUFF: I don’t know…
MACBETH: Wast thou ripped from a man?
MACDUFF: No…
MACBETH: Then thou wast of woman born, what’s the problem?
MACDUFF: I think, technically, to be “born” you need to pass through the birth canal.

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Oh No, Performers Coming Into Audience

PITTSBURGH—Audience members at the Benedum Center for the Performing Arts are reporting that, oh God, no, approximately 20 extremely enthusiastic actors are approaching the edge of the stage and appear determined to continue their current musical number in the main seating area. — The Onion

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4

The Geekling Worked a Shatner/Nimoy Tribute into Godspell

My geekling daughter, who in Willy Wonka flashed Mr. Spock’s Vulcan greeting during Veruca Salt’s contract-signing scene, also worked a Star Trek reference into Godspell. Here as she says goodbye to Jesus, she is doing the Vulcan gesture in a tribute to Spock’s death (in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan). The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one.

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Parents Dedicate New College Safe Space In Honor Of Daughter Who Felt Weird In Class Once

“When our Alexis felt weird after hearing someone discuss an idea that did not conform to her personally held beliefs, she had no place to turn,” said Arnold Stigmore, standing outside the $2 million space that reportedly features soothing music, neutral-colored walls, oversized floor cushions, fun board games, and a variety of snacks. “God forbid any of you, in your years at this institution, are ever confronted with an opinion…