Raving Lunatic Obviously Took Some Advanced Physics

“Mixed in with the usual stuff about CIA mind-control beams, talking dogs, and monkey-people, I heard him mention beta decay, instantons, density matrix, and subspaces of n-dimensional Riemannian manifolds,” Willard said. “I’m not sure where he got it, but he definitely seems to have had extensive schooling in theoretical physics. Man, what could’ve happened to him?”

Stanford theoretical physicist Carl Lundergaard seconded Willard’s theory on the loonball.

“He’s definitely had some advanced training, though I’m not surprised that it went unnoticed for so long,” Lundergaard said. “It’s hard for the layperson to differentiate schizophrenic ramblings like ‘Modernity chunk where the sink goes flying on the ping-pang’ from legitimate terminology like ‘Unstable equilibria lie on the nodal points of a separatrix in phase space.'” —Raving Lunatic Obviously Took Some Advanced Physics (Onion — Will Expire)

Foreign Dispatches has archived a longer snippet.