The Devil's Dictionary

CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.

CONSERVATIVE, n. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.

CONVENT, n. A place of retirement for woman who wish for leisure to meditate upon the vice of idleness.

CYNIC, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking out a cynic’s eyes to improve his vision.

The Devil’s Dictionary (Project Gutenberg)

A handful of entries from the “C” section of this classic work.

Update, 04 Aug: Liliputian Lillith has sampled the “D”s. Anyone want to try another letter?