Disney Family Vacation Ruined By Walt Disney Company

A magical Walt Disney World family vacation was ruined last weekend by the stringent policies and protocol of the Walt Disney Company.


The Mahaffeys’ dissatisfaction began soon after their arrival. Despite being in a huge, open park with dozens of attractions, the family was unable to roam freely, confronted at every turn by signs commanding them to remain on the clearly delineated brick-paved paths. This thwarted an unspoken but keenly felt sense of wanderlust in the family.

“There was a lot of gorgeous greenery, but most of it was roped off,” said Amy Mahaffey, 34. “You could only leave the path if you wanted to go into a shop or café. It made me imagine some behind-the-scenes pencil pusher wanting to save the company a few bucks on sod and petunias, or to ward off potential injury lawsuits. I wanted to be a kid again, but I might as well have stayed at work.” —Disney Family Vacation Ruined By Walt Disney Company (The Onion (satire; will expire))