Greetings, fellow citizen of the Federation! I couldn’t help but notice that you seem a bit fatigued. I suspect that the many demands of Starfleet service have worn you down, and you now require recreation to refresh you and restore your spirits to a nominal level of function. I know just the thing–a merry Elizabethan adventure on the holodeck! –You Look Like You Could Use An Elizabethan Adventure On The Holodeck (The Onion (Satire))
Looking back through memory lane for articles from back issues of The Onion.