Back From Yet Another Globetrotting Adventure, Indiana Jones Checks His Mail and Discovers That His Bid for Tenure Has Been Denied.

A few years old but, worth a few yuks, from McSweeney’s.

In his nine years with the department, Dr. Jones has failed to complete even one uninterrupted semester of instruction. In fact, he hasn’t been in attendance for more than four consecutive weeks since he was hired. Departmental records indicate Dr. Jones has taken more sabbaticals, sick time, personal days, conference allotments, and temporary leaves than all the other members of the department combined.

The lone student representative on the committee wished to convey that, besides being an exceptional instructor, a compassionate mentor, and an unparalleled gentleman, Dr. Jones was extraordinarily receptive to the female student body during and after the transition to a coeducational system at the college. However, his timeliness in grading and returning assignments was a concern.

One thought on “Back From Yet Another Globetrotting Adventure, Indiana Jones Checks His Mail and Discovers That His Bid for Tenure Has Been Denied.

  1. Indy gives a shout out to embattled part-time instructors in one of the trailers for the new movie.
    I’d thought Jones already had tenure in Raiders. Young at 37 in 1936, but it’s possible. But after digging around some, it’s hard to say. The canon suggests he held teaching positions in a number of colleges, and now I lean toward him being a gypsy scholar, which would be more plausible. Alas, I don’t know enough about pre-WWII archeology departments in the northeast. In the third movie, in 1938, he has a secretary and a spacious if dusty office, but he’s clearly overstepped whatever sabbatical he took.

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