A Shattered Nation Longs To Care About Stupid Bullshit Again

Painfully funny-because-it’s-true satire from The Onion’s original coverage of the 9-11 terror attacks.

According to Georgetown University history professor Timothy Schuitt, our interest in stupid bullshit is what makes America great.

“The United States is a free country, a strong country, a prosperous country,” Schuitt said. “Many veterans gave their lives so we would have the right to focus our attention and energies on the DVD release of Joe Dirt, the latest web-browsing cell phones, and how-low-can-you-go hip-hugging jeans. It is a sign of our collective strength as a nation that we genuinely give a shit about the latest developments in the Cruise-Cruz romance. When Mariah Carey’s latest breakdown is once again treated as front-page news, that is the day the healing will have truly begun.” A Shattered Nation Longs To Care About Stupid Bullshit Again.