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iTunes 11: It’s time for Apple’s horrible, bloated program to die.

At the head of the team is a grizzled old engineer who’s been at Apple forever. He’s surly and crude, always making vulgar jokes about iPads. But the company can’t afford to get rid of him—he’s the only one who understands how to operate the furnaces in the iTunes boiler room. Then one morning the crew hears a strange clanging from iTunes’ starboard side. Scouts report that an ancient piston—something…