How to become an obnoxious internet cam whore in five easy steps.

Writing bad poetry is easy when you disregard meter, pace, and rhyming scheme. Just make sure to follow a few simple guidelines:
1. Never write about anything cheerful. Remember, you are a tortured artist. Be one.
2. Be sure to use the following words at least once per sentence, no fewer than 50 times per poem: lament, loathe, soul, darkness, bitter, agony, despair, misery, anguish, pain, suffer, woe, hate, death, love, sultry, angel, rose, acrid and nihilism. Nihilism is a good one because it comes up all the time in normal conversations. --How to become an obnoxious internet cam whore in five easy steps.  (Maddox)
Just in case this professor gig doesn't work out, thanks to Torill, I might have an alternative.

The pictures on the site are hilarious -- and the text is spot on.

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