Amusing: July 2007 Archive Page

Breaking News: Something Happening In Haiti --Breaking News: Something Happening in Haiti (The Onion (Satire))

Great commentary on the accelerated news cycle.

The car could be up on blocks and be just as astonishing. | It goes to show you how we in the press so often miss the big stories that are right under our noses. There is a famous journalistic legend about the time a young reporter covered the Johnstown flood of 1889. The kid wrote: "God sat on a hillside overlooking Johnstown today and looked at the destruction He had wrought." His editor cabled back: "Forget flood. Interview God." --Ebert on "Herbie: Fully Loaded" (2005)

Watching "Bedazzled," I was reminded of the ancient newspaper legend about the reporter sent to cover the Johnstown Flood. "God stood on a mountain top," he wrote, "and saw what his flood waters had wrought." His editor cabled back: Forget flood. Interview God. Why was I remembering this old story? -- Ebert on "Bedazzled" (2000)

"God stood on a mountain here today," he wrote, "and saw what his waters had wrought." His editor cabled him: "Forget flood. Interview God." That was my reaction while watching "Gospa." Ebert on "Gospa" (1996)

Watching "Fire in the Sky," I was reminded of a famous old journalism story. Sent to cover the Johnstown Flood, reporter Bob Considine began his story: "God stood on a mountain top here today, and surveyed the damage that His floodwaters had wrought." His editors cabled him: "Forget flood. Interview God." In the case of "Fire in the Sky," my advice to the filmmakers would be, forget the five pals and their problems, and spend more time with Travis Walton inside the spaceship. --Ebert on "Fire in the Sky" (1993)
Forget Flood. Review Movies. (rogerebert.suntimes.com)

It's a great anecdote. I don't see anything wrong with using it four times over 12 years, but it's interesting to see how the text of the story changes.

"At first I didn't believe a seagull was capable of stealing crisps. But I saw it with my own eyes and I was surprised. He's very good at it." --Seagull becomes crisp shoplifter (BBC)

Very strange. My brother-in-law Robert sent it to me.

"I have never forgotten the magic night that my own father, like his father and his father's father before him, gently woke me, bundled me up in a warm blanket and quietly led me outside to see the Northern Lights for the first time," said the elder Meier, dejectedly sipping a cup of hot cocoa on the back porch as his uninterested son ran back inside to his Sony PlayStation. "It was a moment I'd always looked forward to sharing with my own son."

"Well, so much for that dream," added Meier, heading to the kitchen to pour the boy's untouched mug of cocoa into the sink. --Child Unimpressed With Aurora Borealis After Whole Day Of Tekken 3 (The Onion (Satire))

There once was a horse-riding chap
Who took a trip in a cold snap
He stopped in the snow
But he soon had to go:
He was miles away from a nap. --Lore Sjöberg --Famous Poems Rewritten as Limericks (Bad Gods)

A string of publishers failed to spot blatant plagiarism of one of English literature's most famous authors, in a cheeky test to see if she would have secured a book deal today, a report said Thursday.

David Lassman, head of the Jane Austen Festival in Bath, sent manuscripts to 18 editors seeking a publishing contract, using only slightly disguised versions of chapters from the iconic novelist's most famous works.

But only one publisher spotted the fakes, which included perhaps the most famous line in all English literature, the opening sentence of her 1813 work "Pride and Prejudice".... which he renamed "First Impressions".

"Thank you for your recent letter and chapters from your book 'First Impressions'. It seems like a really original and interesting read," wrote Penguin. Harry Potter author J. K. Rowling's agents Christopher Little said they were "not confident" of being able to place the work.

The only editor to spot the ruse was apparently Alex Bowler of Jonathan Cape. --AFP (Yahoo | AFP (will expire))

This story illustrates the level of attention paid to the "slush pile" -- the flood of unsolicited manuscripts that entry-level editors sift through. The editors would have had to take the extra time to write a personalized rejection letter, and my guess is that even the editors who noticed the prank didn't feel motivated to take that extra time.

Taylor Mali Poetry Slams (''What Do Teachers Really Make?'' and ''The Impotence of Proofreading'')YouTube)

Wow. I needed that.

The summer's more than half over, and I've got to start focusing on getting things off of my summer "to-do" list.

--Lego White and Nerdy (YouTube)

Weird Al's awesome "White and Nerdy" has spawned not just one but several different Lego versions (of various quality levels).

Q: What do you come across when you get a planet with antlers?

A: Uran-moose!

My five-year-old daughter made up that joke in the car this afternoon. I helped her a bit with the set-up. Her first version was, "What do you come across when you get Uranus with antlers?"

We thought our "Pimp my Book Cart" contest was a funny idea that would spawn a dozen or so entries. But it seemed to spark something, and we started hearing from folks all over the country. It even spawned a "Pimp my Book Trolley" contest Down Under in Australia (we're judging that one too).

Still, by last week we figured all the fuss had been just that, and that it was still going to be just a few contenders. But then a few days before the deadline, in a display of procrastination that impressed Bill, they started pouring in. We ended up getting over 100. --Pimp My Bookcart Contest Winners (Unshelved)

RUR Cats (Jerz's Literacy Weblog)

My first (and probably only) contribution to the LOLCats meme.

In the 1920s, the Czech play R.U.R. (Rossum's Universal Robots) introduced the world to a word that quickly displaced older terms such as "automaton."

As author Karel Capek was working out the plot, he fretted that calling them "labori" would be too stuffy. His brother Josef, a cubist painter and author, muttered, "Then call them Robots," drawing on a Czech word meaning "menial labor" or "servitude."

The illustration is from a Josef Capek's children's book, A Doggie and a Pussycat: How They Wrote a Letter.

Okay, that was pretty obscure, but now I can get on with my life.

I won't be stuck standardizing verb tenses in business documents my whole life. One day, I will copyedit the Great American Novel.

"Sure," you say, "along with every other detail-oriented grammarian in the country." Yes, I know how many idealistic young people dream of taking a manuscript that captures the spirit of 21st-century America and removing all of its grammatical and semantic errors. But how many of them know to omit the word "bear" when referring to koalas? How many know to change "pompom" to "pompon"? --Someday, I Will Copyedit The Great American Novel (The Onion (Satire))

The armada of 29,000 plastic yellow ducks, blue turtles and green frogs broke free from a cargo ship 15 years ago.

Since then they have travelled 17,000 miles, floating over the site where the Titanic sank, landing in Hawaii and even spending years frozen in an Arctic ice pack. --Ben Clerkin --Thousands of rubber ducks to land on British shores after 15 year journey (Daily Mail)