Preoccupations - Girl Power at School, but Not at the Office

I have spent too much time being rattled by terse e-mail from editors, agents who have told me that I'd never get a book deal, and bosses who have berated me as not being "detail-oriented." I think that in order to break through any kind of glass ceiling, or simply to get through the day, you have to become impervious to the daily gruffness that's a part of any job.

I used to think that perfection was the pathway to success. Not so, according to women I have interviewed who have reached the apex of their professions. Rather, it can lead to paralysis. Women, I have found, can let perfectionism stop them from speaking up or taking risks. For men, especially if they are thick-skinned, the thought of someone telling them "no" tends not to be viewed as earth-shattering.

One tactic I've found useful in getting over the perfectionist tendency is a shock therapy called soliciting feedback. Not only does it demystify what your boss thinks about you, but it also gives you the data to become a more valuable employee.

The other dose of shock therapy I've undergone is reprogramming my brain to think that, yes, girls do brag. I've indoctrinated myself with the idea that my job is a two-part process. One part is actually doing the work and the second part is talking about it, preferably in bottom-line terms. --Hannah Seligson