“Many had wondered beforehand if there would be any foul play involved in the rematch. But Pirates first baseman Randall Simon, who made national headlines on July 9 after hitting the Italian Sausage in the head with his bat during a race at Miller Park, promised Friday afternoon not to get involved with the race.” —Smoked Sausage: Pierogies Prevail (Pirates)

Since I’ve just moved from Wisconsin to Pennsylvania, news of the perogie’s victory over the sausages is particularly welcome.