Spokesman Richard Boucher confirmed Monday that [US Secretary of State Colin] Powell had indeed appointed [James] Brown to be the first US “secretary of soul and foreign minister of funk” but said the job description for the post had not yet been drawn up. —Powell ‘appoints’ soul legend James Brown to new diplomatic postYahoo/AFP)

And yet again, life imitates The Onion

“The time has come to face facts: To move forward, we’ve got to get on up, and stay on the scene, like a sex machine,” said Brick House Majority Leader James Brown (G-GA), one of getting on up’s most vocal supporters. “Say it loud: Only when we have gotten up offa that thing will we, as a nation, finally get back on the good foot.”