The woods were all a-twitter with rumors that the Seven Dwarves were planning a live reunion after their attempted solo careers had dismally sputtered into Z-list oblivion and it was all just a matter of meeting a ten-page list of outlandish demands (including 700-threadcount Egyptian cotton bedsheets, lots of white lilies and a separate trailer for the magic talking mirror) to get the Princess Formerly Known As Snow White on board. —Shelby Leung —Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest: 2005 Results (San Jose State University)

The “winner” in the Children’s Lit category. The purpose of the contest is, of course, to be terrible. This one fits the bill.