In Search Of A Better Life, Teen Moves Downstairs

According to Jankowski, the move offers the opportunity to escape an oppressive regime.

“Mom and Dad watch everything I do,” Jankowski said. “But now, I’ll be able to hear them coming down the stairs. And, if I’m slick about it, I’ll be able to sneak out the basement window and, like, party.”

Across the country, millions of suburban teens have sought better lives in the subterranean realm, a topic Dr. Grant Tompkins explores in Where The Floor Is Paved With Cement: An Adolescent’s Quest For His Underground Domain, an account of his own teenage post-war journey downstairs. —In Search Of A Better Life, Teen Moves Downstairs (Onion (Satire))