Inaccuracy Of Every Single Detail Forces Student Paper To Pull Story At Last Minute

“We at The Recorder strive to ensure that every piece of writing we publish contains timely and thoroughly reported information, and because each sentence of this article contains at least one factual error, we made the call to kill it,” said editor-in-chief Hannah Lowry, noting numerous “red flags” in the article that included an incorrect date and location; misattributed quotes; several wide-of-the-mark figures, including the school’s attendance; and the names of students, faculty, and buildings that do not exist. —The Onion (satire)