These are not the rhetorical choices I would make in order to convey this message to my own students, but I can certainly identify with the author’s evident frustration.
My own syllabus has a FAQ section, and in the first week or so of classes I usually assign an open-notes “Syllabus Quiz” so that students can get points for demonstrating that they can, in fact, read the syllabus.
Imagine you’ve just accepted your first job after you graduate from college. After two weeks on the job you walk into your supervisor’s office and ask whether you have a health plan. After two months you walk back into his office and ask how much vacation time you have. There is one thing guaranteed to happen to you in such a scenario: You will get fired. —Mike Adams