The entertainment industry seems upset that pubs are to be opened before any theatres or music venues.
But you can understand why the pubs have priority – it’s a matter of safety.
Theatres are wild places where you can’t control the public.
So often, during a show by a comic, the audience spreads viruses by forgetting they have a ticket for seat 19b and moving across to seat 23f and sitting on someone else’s lap. Once they’ve got over-excited by reading the programme, they’re back and forth to the toilet, spreading germs around.
And sometimes when violinist Nicola Benedetti is playing, a member of the audience will listen to too many notes and end up being sick in the car park outside. But in a pub, everyone sits quietly gazing at the beauty of the beer pumps and admiring the peanuts.
No one ever moves anywhere and no one projects little spores of virus because no one says a word.
If only people could behave as well in theatres as they do in pubs, the entertainment venues could be opened up next week as well. They have only themselves to blame.