Jingle Bells 2000

25 Nov 2000; by John L. Jerz
Dashing through the snow, of fallen dimpled chad,
we rush to count the votes, the judge is getting mad!
People stop and stare, at the unfamiliar scene,
slips of paper in the air, who needs the damn machine!

(Refrain)

Count the votes! Count the votes! Count them any way!
Oh what fun it is to certify election day!
Count the votes! Count the Votes! Count them yea or nay!
The rule of law (do not guffaw) will see the light of day!

A day or two ago, I thought Id run and hide,
from stacks of ballots tall, and stacks of ballots wide;
The marks were so unclear, not sure what this guy meant,
well count them all, have no fear, even ones weve bent.

(Refrain)

Count the votes! Count the votes! Count them any way!
Oh what fun it is to certify election day!
Count the votes! Count the Votes! Count them yea or nay!
The rule of law (do not guffaw) will see the light of day!

Now the ground is white, from holes that all fell out,
Going home tonight, we will sing and shout!
Well count them all again, if they feel we must,
One more time? Ok fine, until they turn to dust!

(Refrain)

Count the votes! Count the votes! Count them any way!
Oh what fun it is to certify election day!
Count the votes! Count the Votes! Count them yea or nay!
The rule of law (do not guffaw) will see the light of day!

by John L. Jerz
25 Nov. 2000

See Also: 

08 Nov 2000; by Dennis G. Jerz
Florida Electoral Votes in 2000- Why Usability Testing Matters
The 2000 U.S. Presidential race was so close that some Democratic Party officials think a hard-to-use Florida ballot may have unfairly decided the presidency.