Stupid Puns For the Win

My daughter just trounced me in a pun war.

In high school, I often tried masking my social awkwardness by making puns. Not just random puns, but stupid chains of rapid-fire puns, all on the same general subject. I had these mental lists of puns related to bland subjects like photography (“Lens be serious.” “That joke really shutter up.”) or shoes (“It’s the lace I can do.”)   Whenever one of these topics came up, I would casually start dropping puns, and some of my friends would reply with their own puns. Before long, though, everyone else would usually give up.

My kids are reading The Great Gatsby. While my daughter had to occupy herself for a few minutes, she folded and decorated this origami silk shirt (note the “J.G.” monogram.)

As she was getting ready for bed, she mentioned missing a friend she hadn’t seen since the summer, and I mentioned that she could write her a note.

She said “I could write it on an origami shirt. I could write, ‘Wear have you been?'” and the battle was on.

Me:  “You could just collar.”

Carolyn: “Let’s sleeve this alone.”

Me: (Laughing.) “Good one!”

Carolyn: “I really put the button on it.”

(This is a musical theater term for taking a final dramatic pose on the last chord of a song. I was about to tell her I thought that might be a bit obscure, but she got two in a row, and she knew I was in trouble.)

Carolyn: “It seams like I’m winning.”

And after firing off three puns in a row, my daughter officially won.