I Cannot Begin to Tell You How Proficient I Am in Microsoft Word

Is this satire? It doesn’t matter. It gave me feels. For me, though, it was Word Perfect and Broderbund Print Shop that were there for me as a teenager finding my voice.

Bold and italics are the oils that grace my palette. Cut and paste the strings upon my lyre. Fonts, bullets, columns, indentations—these stubborn materials are no match for the alchemy with which I extract meaning and impose order. For I am proficient in Microsoft Word.

Many are the candidates who come touting their areas of expertise—beginner Spanish, ability to work well under pressure—but none compare to the fluency with which I insert links and align text, add comments and reply to the comments left by others. Eli Burnstein The New Yorker (painfully evocative photo by Ryan J. Lane)

Share
Published by
Dennis G. Jerz

Recent Posts

Will Journalism Be a Crime in a Second Trump Administration?

Journalism is not a crime. It's not a crime if it offends the powerful. It's…

2 days ago

I just caught myself thinking, “This doesn’t suck.” #medievalyork #mysteryplay #blender3d #design #aesthetics

I just caught myself thinking, “This doesn’t suck.” #medievalyork #mysteryplay #blender3d #design #aesthetics

3 days ago

A spooooooky post about predatory journals for this Halloween season.

Predatory publications are not concerned with writing quality (or even coherence), and thus also do…

5 days ago