amp-web-push-widget button.amp-subscribe { display: inline-flex; align-items: center; border-radius: 5px; border: 0; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0; padding: 10px 15px; cursor: pointer; outline: none; font-size: 15px; font-weight: 500; background: #4A90E2; margin-top: 7px; color: white; box-shadow: 0 1px 1px 0 rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.5); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); } /** * Jetpack related posts */ /** * The Gutenberg block */ .jp-related-posts-i2 { margin-top: 1.5rem; } .jp-related-posts-i2__list { --hgap: 1rem; display: flex; flex-wrap: wrap; column-gap: var(--hgap); row-gap: 2rem; margin: 0; padding: 0; list-style-type: none; } .jp-related-posts-i2__post { display: flex; flex-direction: column; /* Default: 2 items by row */ flex-basis: calc( ( 100% - var(--hgap) ) / 2 ); } /* Quantity qeuries: see https://alistapart.com/article/quantity-queries-for-css/ */ .jp-related-posts-i2__post:nth-last-child(n+3):first-child, .jp-related-posts-i2__post:nth-last-child(n+3):first-child ~ * { /* From 3 total items on, 3 items by row */ flex-basis: calc( ( 100% - var(--hgap) * 2 ) / 3 ); } .jp-related-posts-i2__post:nth-last-child(4):first-child, .jp-related-posts-i2__post:nth-last-child(4):first-child ~ * { /* Exception for 4 total items: 2 items by row */ flex-basis: calc( ( 100% - var(--hgap) ) / 2 ); } .jp-related-posts-i2__post-link { display: flex; flex-direction: column; row-gap: 0.5rem; width: 100%; margin-bottom: 1rem; line-height: 1.2; } .jp-related-posts-i2__post-link:focus-visible { outline-offset: 2px; } .jp-related-posts-i2__post-img { order: -1; max-width: 100%; } .jp-related-posts-i2__post-defs { margin: 0; list-style-type: unset; } /* Hide, except from screen readers */ .jp-related-posts-i2__post-defs dt { position: absolute; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden; clip: rect(1px, 1px, 1px, 1px); white-space: nowrap; } .jp-related-posts-i2__post-defs dd { margin: 0; } /* List view */ .jp-relatedposts-i2[data-layout="list"] .jp-related-posts-i2__list { display: block; } .jp-relatedposts-i2[data-layout="list"] .jp-related-posts-i2__post { margin-bottom: 2rem; } /* Breakpoints */ @media only screen and (max-width: 640px) { .jp-related-posts-i2__list { display: block; } .jp-related-posts-i2__post { margin-bottom: 2rem; } } /* Container */ #jp-relatedposts { display: none; padding-top: 1em; margin: 1em 0; position: relative; clear: both; } .jp-relatedposts::after { content: ''; display: block; clear: both; } /* Headline above related posts section, labeled "Related" */ #jp-relatedposts h3.jp-relatedposts-headline { margin: 0 0 1em 0; display: inline-block; float: left; font-size: 9pt; font-weight: 700; font-family: inherit; } #jp-relatedposts h3.jp-relatedposts-headline em::before { content: ""; display: block; width: 100%; min-width: 30px; border-top: 1px solid rgba(0,0,0,.2); margin-bottom: 1em; } #jp-relatedposts h3.jp-relatedposts-headline em { font-style: normal; font-weight: 700; } /* Related posts items (wrapping items) */ #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items { clear: left; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual { margin-right: -20px; } /* Related posts item */ #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post { float: left; width: 33%; margin: 0 0 1em; /* Needs to be same as the main outer wrapper for Related Posts */ box-sizing: border-box; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post { padding-right: 20px; filter: alpha(opacity=80); -moz-opacity: .8; opacity: .8; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post:nth-child(3n+4), #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post:nth-child(3n+4) { clear: both; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post:hover .jp-relatedposts-post-title a { text-decoration: underline; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post:hover { filter: alpha(opacity=100); -moz-opacity: 1; opacity: 1; } /* Related posts item content */ #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual h4.jp-relatedposts-post-title, #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items p, #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items time { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; margin: 0; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post-nothumbs { position:relative; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post-nothumbs a.jp-relatedposts-post-aoverlay { position:absolute; top:0; bottom:0; left:0; right:0; display:block; border-bottom: 0; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items p, #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items time { margin-bottom: 0; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual h4.jp-relatedposts-post-title { text-transform: none; margin: 0; font-family: inherit; display: block; max-width: 100%; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post .jp-relatedposts-post-title a { font-size: inherit; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; filter: alpha(opacity=100); -moz-opacity: 1; opacity: 1; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post .jp-relatedposts-post-title a:hover { text-decoration: underline; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post img.jp-relatedposts-post-img, #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post span { display: block; max-width: 90%; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post img.jp-relatedposts-post-img, #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post span { height: auto; max-width: 100%; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post .jp-relatedposts-post-date, #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post .jp-relatedposts-post-context { opacity: .6; } /* Hide the date by default, but leave the element there if a theme wants to use css to make it visible. */ .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post .jp-relatedposts-post-date { display: none; } /* Behavior when there are thumbnails in visual mode */ #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual div.jp-relatedposts-post-thumbs p.jp-relatedposts-post-excerpt { display: none; } /* Behavior when there are no thumbnails in visual mode */ #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post-nothumbs p.jp-relatedposts-post-excerpt { overflow: hidden; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post-nothumbs span { margin-bottom: 1em; } /* List Layout */ #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-list .jp-relatedposts-post { clear: both; width: 100%; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-list .jp-relatedposts-post img.jp-relatedposts-post-img { float: left; overflow: hidden; max-width: 33%; margin-right: 3%; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-list h4.jp-relatedposts-post-title { display: inline-block; max-width: 63%; } /* * Responsive */ @media only screen and (max-width: 640px) { #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post { width: 50%; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post:nth-child(3n) { clear: left; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual { margin-right: 20px; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 320px) { #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post { width: 100%; clear: both; margin: 0 0 1em; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-list .jp-relatedposts-post img.jp-relatedposts-post-img, #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-list h4.jp-relatedposts-post-title { float: none; max-width: 100%; margin-right: 0; } } /* * Hide the related post section in the print view of a post */ @media print { .jp-relatedposts { display:none ; } } .amp-logo amp-img{width:371px} .amp-menu input{display:none;}.amp-menu li.menu-item-has-children ul{display:none;}.amp-menu li{position:relative;display:block;}.amp-menu > li a{display:block;} /* Inline styles */ div.acss138d7{clear:both;}div.acss0dcba{--relposth-columns:3;--relposth-columns_m:3;--relposth-columns_t:3;}div.acssec620{aspect-ratio:16/9;background:transparent url(https://i0.wp.com/jerz.setonhill.edu/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Screenshot-2025-05-07-at-10.46.51%E2%80%AFAM.png?resize=150%2C150&ssl=1) no-repeat scroll 0% 0%;height:150px;max-width:150px;}div.acss020fa{color:#333333;font-family:Arial Narrow;font-size:11px;height:45px;}div.acss1100a{aspect-ratio:16/9;background:transparent url(https://i0.wp.com/jerz.setonhill.edu/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Screenshot-2025-05-05-at-8.20.15%E2%80%AFPM.png?resize=150%2C150&ssl=1) no-repeat scroll 0% 0%;height:150px;max-width:150px;}div.acss60ed4{aspect-ratio:16/9;background:transparent url(https://i0.wp.com/jerz.setonhill.edu/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Screenshot-2025-05-05-at-11.30.56%E2%80%AFAM-1.png?resize=150%2C150&ssl=1) no-repeat scroll 0% 0%;height:150px;max-width:150px;}div.acss79008{aspect-ratio:16/9;background:transparent url(https://i0.wp.com/jerz.setonhill.edu/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/sisko-facepalm.jpeg?resize=150%2C150&ssl=1) no-repeat scroll 0% 0%;height:150px;max-width:150px;}div.acssd2177{aspect-ratio:16/9;background:transparent url(https://i0.wp.com/jerz.setonhill.edu/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/img_2235-1-1.jpg?resize=150%2C150&ssl=1) no-repeat scroll 0% 0%;height:150px;max-width:150px;}div.acss14262{aspect-ratio:16/9;background:transparent url(https://i0.wp.com/jerz.setonhill.edu/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Screenshot-2025-04-23-at-11.42.56%E2%80%AFAM.png?resize=150%2C150&ssl=1) no-repeat scroll 0% 0%;height:150px;max-width:150px;} .icon-widgets:before {content: "\e1bd";}.icon-search:before {content: "\e8b6";}.icon-shopping-cart:after {content: "\e8cc";}

Generic Candy Corn will Give You AIDS

Once again, Halloween season is upon us, and with it, the wonderful anticipation of dressing up and trick-or-treating for delicious Brach’s candy. With that in mind, it’s important to remember all the ways that you can make your Halloween safer and more fun. It won’t put a damper on anyone’s holiday spirits to wear high-visibility costumes when going from house to house, to have kids trick-or-treat with an adult, and to inspect all candy for tampering. Perhaps most importantly, keep in mind that eating just a single kernel of candy corn manufactured by a company other than Brach’s Confections will give you a deadly case of full-blown AIDS. –“Patrick Carlin CEO, Brach’s Confections” —Generic Candy Corn will Give You AIDS (Onion)

Another great example of The Onion’s mastery of social satire.

Share
Published by
Dennis G. Jerz

Recent Posts

This 1960s teenager knew the neighborhood that inspired August Wilson’s plays

“Aw, man, you know the brother um takin’ ‘bout. He always be up at Eddie’s,…

12 hours ago

Washington Post Cartoonist Who Quit Over Bezos Cartoon Wins Pulitzer Prize

Former Washington Post cartoonist Ann Telnaes — who resigned in January over the paper spiking a…

2 days ago

A.I. Is Getting More Powerful, but Its Hallucinations Are Getting Worse

The newest and most powerful technologies — so-called reasoning systems from companies like OpenAI, Google and the…

2 days ago

Doctor Bashir, I Presume #StarTrek #DS9 Rewatch (Season 5, Episode 16) Smarmy hologram designer exposes a Bashir family secret, romances Leeta

Rewatching ST:DS9 Quark watches with detached bemusement as Rom backs out of declaring his interest…

5 days ago

Shakespeare did not leave his wife Anne in Stratford, letter fragment suggests

It has long been assumed that William Shakespeare’s marriage to Anne Hathaway was less than…

2 weeks ago