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Categories: Humanities

A to Z-ombie: which malls you should live in

I began pondering what life would be like if zombies came around. How would I react? What would my use be to society (because nearly everyone in a zombie movie has a distinct purpose)? How would I survive? What would I be like as a zombie if I did get bitten?

There are obviously a lot of things to think about.

The most pressing issue in my mind, though, is what mall I would live in. —Karissa KilgoreA to Z-ombie: which malls you should live in (Sugarpacket)

Zombies and shopping malls… a match made in heaven.

Once when my wife chastised our kids for “screaming their heads off” in a mall, we were passing a kids’ clothing store that had little mannequins in cute (expensive) kid clothing, but the figures had no heads.

I adopted a very serious expression. “See those kids?” I asked, pointing at the window. “They screamed their heads off. And look what happened to them.”

My daughter, who was two at the time, looked around at the floor. “Where did their heads go?”

“They put them in milkshakes,” I said. Or something else equally ridiculous. But the kids stopped screaming.

Oh, the power of language.

P.S. With a name like “Kilgore,” how can she not love zombie movies?

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  • Hahaha! Not the first time my name has been brought into the picture... Thanks for the post, Dr. Jerz. I had a lot of fun writing this one.

    And as for children screaming their heads off? I'll consider using that line if the occasion ever arrises :-)

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Dennis G. Jerz

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