English. Confusing. Hilf!

Exhibit A:

vegetable (adj.)
c.1400, “living and growing as a plant,” from O.Fr. vegetable “living, fit to live,” from M.L. vegetabilis “growing, flourishing,” from L.L. vegetabilis “animating, enlivening,” from L. vegetare “to enliven,” from vegetus “vigorous, active,” from vegere “to be alive, active, to quicken,” from PIE *weg- “be strong, lively,” related to watch (v.), vigor, velocity

Exhibit B:

veg·e·ta·ble P Pronunciation Key (vjt-bl, vj-t-)
n.

2. Offensive Slang. One who is severely impaired mentally and physically, as by brain injury or disease.
3. One who is regarded as dull, passive, or unresponsive.

So my happy, active, vegetable (A) life might be ended by a tragic car crash, rendering me a vegetable (B).

To resolve this problem, I shall now go and eat a carrot. Goodnight.

—English. Confusing. Hilf! (Supermaxwell)

Thanks for the chuckle, on a morning when I would otherwise have felt (3).