amp-web-push-widget button.amp-subscribe { display: inline-flex; align-items: center; border-radius: 5px; border: 0; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0; padding: 10px 15px; cursor: pointer; outline: none; font-size: 15px; font-weight: 500; background: #4A90E2; margin-top: 7px; color: white; box-shadow: 0 1px 1px 0 rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.5); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); } /** * Jetpack related posts */ /** * The Gutenberg block */ .jp-related-posts-i2 { margin-top: 1.5rem; } .jp-related-posts-i2__list { --hgap: 1rem; display: flex; flex-wrap: wrap; column-gap: var(--hgap); row-gap: 2rem; margin: 0; padding: 0; list-style-type: none; } .jp-related-posts-i2__post { display: flex; flex-direction: column; /* Default: 2 items by row */ flex-basis: calc(( 100% - var(--hgap) ) / 2); } /* Quantity qeuries: see https://alistapart.com/article/quantity-queries-for-css/ */ .jp-related-posts-i2__post:nth-last-child(n+3):first-child, .jp-related-posts-i2__post:nth-last-child(n+3):first-child ~ * { /* From 3 total items on, 3 items by row */ flex-basis: calc(( 100% - var(--hgap) * 2 ) / 3); } .jp-related-posts-i2__post:nth-last-child(4):first-child, .jp-related-posts-i2__post:nth-last-child(4):first-child ~ * { /* Exception for 4 total items: 2 items by row */ flex-basis: calc(( 100% - var(--hgap) ) / 2); } .jp-related-posts-i2__post-link { display: flex; flex-direction: column; row-gap: 0.5rem; width: 100%; margin-bottom: 1rem; line-height: 1.2; } .jp-related-posts-i2__post-link:focus-visible { outline-offset: 2px; } .jp-related-posts-i2__post-img { order: -1; max-width: 100%; } .jp-related-posts-i2__post-defs { margin: 0; list-style-type: unset; } /* Hide, except from screen readers */ .jp-related-posts-i2__post-defs dt { position: absolute; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden; clip: rect(1px, 1px, 1px, 1px); white-space: nowrap; } .jp-related-posts-i2__post-defs dd { margin: 0; } /* List view */ .jp-relatedposts-i2[data-layout="list"] .jp-related-posts-i2__list { display: block; } .jp-relatedposts-i2[data-layout="list"] .jp-related-posts-i2__post { margin-bottom: 2rem; } /* Breakpoints */ @media only screen and (max-width: 640px) { .jp-related-posts-i2__list { display: block; } .jp-related-posts-i2__post { margin-bottom: 2rem; } } /* Container */ #jp-relatedposts { display: none; padding-top: 1em; margin: 1em 0; position: relative; clear: both; } .jp-relatedposts::after { content: ""; display: block; clear: both; } /* Headline above related posts section, labeled "Related" */ #jp-relatedposts h3.jp-relatedposts-headline { margin: 0 0 1em 0; display: inline-block; float: left; font-size: 9pt; font-weight: 700; font-family: inherit; } #jp-relatedposts h3.jp-relatedposts-headline em::before { content: ""; display: block; width: 100%; min-width: 30px; border-top: 1px solid rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.2); margin-bottom: 1em; } #jp-relatedposts h3.jp-relatedposts-headline em { font-style: normal; font-weight: 700; } /* Related posts items (wrapping items) */ #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items { clear: left; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual { margin-right: -20px; } /* Related posts item */ #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post { float: left; width: 33%; margin: 0 0 1em; /* Needs to be same as the main outer wrapper for Related Posts */ box-sizing: border-box; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post { padding-right: 20px; filter: alpha(opacity=80); -moz-opacity: 0.8; opacity: 0.8; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post:nth-child(3n+4), #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post:nth-child(3n+4) { clear: both; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post:hover .jp-relatedposts-post-title a { text-decoration: underline; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post:hover { filter: alpha(opacity=100); -moz-opacity: 1; opacity: 1; } /* Related posts item content */ #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual h4.jp-relatedposts-post-title, #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items p, #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items time { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; margin: 0; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post-nothumbs { position: relative; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post-nothumbs a.jp-relatedposts-post-aoverlay { position: absolute; top: 0; bottom: 0; left: 0; right: 0; display: block; border-bottom: 0; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items p, #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items time { margin-bottom: 0; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual h4.jp-relatedposts-post-title { text-transform: none; margin: 0; font-family: inherit; display: block; max-width: 100%; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post .jp-relatedposts-post-title a { font-size: inherit; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; filter: alpha(opacity=100); -moz-opacity: 1; opacity: 1; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post .jp-relatedposts-post-title a:hover { text-decoration: underline; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post img.jp-relatedposts-post-img, #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post span { display: block; max-width: 90%; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post img.jp-relatedposts-post-img, #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post span { height: auto; max-width: 100%; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post .jp-relatedposts-post-date, #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post .jp-relatedposts-post-context { opacity: 0.6; } /* Hide the date by default, but leave the element there if * a theme wants to use css to make it visible. */ .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post .jp-relatedposts-post-date { display: none; } /* Behavior when there are thumbnails in visual mode */ #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual div.jp-relatedposts-post-thumbs p.jp-relatedposts-post-excerpt { display: none; } /* Behavior when there are no thumbnails in visual mode */ #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post-nothumbs p.jp-relatedposts-post-excerpt { overflow: hidden; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post-nothumbs span { margin-bottom: 1em; } /* List Layout */ #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-list .jp-relatedposts-post { clear: both; width: 100%; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-list .jp-relatedposts-post img.jp-relatedposts-post-img { float: left; overflow: hidden; max-width: 33%; margin-right: 3%; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-list h4.jp-relatedposts-post-title { display: inline-block; max-width: 63%; } /* * Responsive */ @media only screen and (max-width: 640px) { #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post { width: 50%; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post:nth-child(3n) { clear: left; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual { margin-right: 20px; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 320px) { #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post { width: 100%; clear: both; margin: 0 0 1em; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-list .jp-relatedposts-post img.jp-relatedposts-post-img, #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-list h4.jp-relatedposts-post-title { float: none; max-width: 100%; margin-right: 0; } } /* * Hide the related post section in the print view of a post */ @media print { .jp-relatedposts { display: none ; } } .amp-logo amp-img{width:371px} .amp-menu input{display:none;}.amp-menu li.menu-item-has-children ul{display:none;}.amp-menu li{position:relative;display:block;}.amp-menu > li a{display:block;} /* Inline styles */ div.acss138d7{clear:both;}div.acssbe199{--relposth-columns:6;--relposth-columns_m:2;--relposth-columns_t:3;}div.acss7d601{aspect-ratio:4/3;background:transparent no-repeat scroll 0% 0%;height:150px;max-width:150px;}div.acss3647e{color:#333333;font-family:Arial Narrow;font-size:11px;height:50px;} .icon-widgets:before {content: "\e1bd";}.icon-search:before {content: "\e8b6";}.icon-shopping-cart:after {content: "\e8cc";}

Categories: AmusingGamesHumanitiesPolitics

Iraqi Invasion: A Text Misadventure

Revision 88 / Serial number 54892

Oval Office

You are standing inside a White House, having just been elected to the presidency of the United States. You knew Scalia would pull through for you.

There is a large desk here, along with a few chairs and couches. The presidential seal is in the middle of the room and there is a full-length mirror upon the wall.

What do you want to do now?

> INVADE IRAQ

You are not able to do that, yet.

> LOOK MIRROR

Self-reflection is not your strong suit.

> PET SEAL

It’s not that kind of seal. —Iraqi Invasion: A Text Misadventure (Defective Yeti)

Not exactly biting social commentary, since it’s designed to amuse people who already disagree with Bush. But I hope everybody, regardless of political leanings, can appreciate the form.

Some of the comments are even funnier than the post.

“You can make fun all you want, but according to your re-creation, Bush survived in Zork for, what, going on 6 years now. I consistently survived 6 minutes.”

“He’s only survived so long because he types so slowly.”

“If Bush is so in the dark, why hasn’t he been eaten by a Grue?”

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View Comments

Joshua Sasmor says:

18 Jan 2006 at 1:35 pm

Bush hasn't been eaten by a Grue because he's not in a "maze of twisty passages, all alike." That's why we can't find Osama Bin Laden - he was hiding in those caves and was eaten by a Grue...