amp-web-push-widget button.amp-subscribe { display: inline-flex; align-items: center; border-radius: 5px; border: 0; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0; padding: 10px 15px; cursor: pointer; outline: none; font-size: 15px; font-weight: 500; background: #4A90E2; margin-top: 7px; color: white; box-shadow: 0 1px 1px 0 rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.5); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); } /** * Jetpack related posts */ /** * The Gutenberg block */ .jp-related-posts-i2 { margin-top: 1.5rem; } .jp-related-posts-i2__list { --hgap: 1rem; display: flex; flex-wrap: wrap; column-gap: var(--hgap); row-gap: 2rem; margin: 0; padding: 0; list-style-type: none; } .jp-related-posts-i2__post { display: flex; flex-direction: column; /* Default: 2 items by row */ flex-basis: calc( ( 100% - var(--hgap) ) / 2 ); } /* Quantity qeuries: see https://alistapart.com/article/quantity-queries-for-css/ */ .jp-related-posts-i2__post:nth-last-child(n+3):first-child, .jp-related-posts-i2__post:nth-last-child(n+3):first-child ~ * { /* From 3 total items on, 3 items by row */ flex-basis: calc( ( 100% - var(--hgap) * 2 ) / 3 ); } .jp-related-posts-i2__post:nth-last-child(4):first-child, .jp-related-posts-i2__post:nth-last-child(4):first-child ~ * { /* Exception for 4 total items: 2 items by row */ flex-basis: calc( ( 100% - var(--hgap) ) / 2 ); } .jp-related-posts-i2__post-link { display: flex; flex-direction: column; row-gap: 0.5rem; width: 100%; margin-bottom: 1rem; line-height: 1.2; } .jp-related-posts-i2__post-link:focus-visible { outline-offset: 2px; } .jp-related-posts-i2__post-img { order: -1; max-width: 100%; } .jp-related-posts-i2__post-defs { margin: 0; list-style-type: unset; } /* Hide, except from screen readers */ .jp-related-posts-i2__post-defs dt { position: absolute; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden; clip: rect(1px, 1px, 1px, 1px); white-space: nowrap; } .jp-related-posts-i2__post-defs dd { margin: 0; } /* List view */ .jp-relatedposts-i2[data-layout="list"] .jp-related-posts-i2__list { display: block; } .jp-relatedposts-i2[data-layout="list"] .jp-related-posts-i2__post { margin-bottom: 2rem; } /* Breakpoints */ @media only screen and (max-width: 640px) { .jp-related-posts-i2__list { display: block; } .jp-related-posts-i2__post { margin-bottom: 2rem; } } /* Container */ #jp-relatedposts { display: none; padding-top: 1em; margin: 1em 0; position: relative; clear: both; } .jp-relatedposts:after { content: ''; display: block; clear: both; } /* Headline above related posts section, labeled "Related" */ #jp-relatedposts h3.jp-relatedposts-headline { margin: 0 0 1em 0; display: inline-block; float: left; font-size: 9pt; font-weight: bold; font-family: inherit; } #jp-relatedposts h3.jp-relatedposts-headline em:before { content: ""; display: block; width: 100%; min-width: 30px; border-top: 1px solid #dcdcde; border-top: 1px solid rgba(0,0,0,.2); margin-bottom: 1em; } #jp-relatedposts h3.jp-relatedposts-headline em { font-style: normal; font-weight: bold; } /* Related posts items (wrapping items) */ #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items { clear: left; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual { margin-right: -20px; } /* Related posts item */ #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post { float: left; width: 33%; margin: 0 0 1em; /* Needs to be same as the main outer wrapper for Related Posts */ box-sizing: border-box; -moz-box-sizing: border-box; -webkit-box-sizing: border-box; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post { padding-right: 20px; filter: alpha(opacity=80); -moz-opacity: .8; opacity: .8; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post:nth-child(3n+4), #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post:nth-child(3n+4) { clear: both; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post:hover .jp-relatedposts-post-title a { text-decoration: underline; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post:hover { filter: alpha(opacity=100); -moz-opacity: 1; opacity: 1; } /* Related posts item content */ #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual h4.jp-relatedposts-post-title, #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items p, #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items time { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; margin: 0; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post-nothumbs { position:relative; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post-nothumbs a.jp-relatedposts-post-aoverlay { position:absolute; top:0; bottom:0; left:0; right:0; display:block; border-bottom: 0; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items p, #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items time { margin-bottom: 0; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual h4.jp-relatedposts-post-title { text-transform: none; margin: 0; font-family: inherit; display: block; max-width: 100%; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post .jp-relatedposts-post-title a { font-size: inherit; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; filter: alpha(opacity=100); -moz-opacity: 1; opacity: 1; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post .jp-relatedposts-post-title a:hover { text-decoration: underline; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post img.jp-relatedposts-post-img, #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post span { display: block; max-width: 90%; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post img.jp-relatedposts-post-img, #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post span { height: auto; max-width: 100%; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post .jp-relatedposts-post-date, #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post .jp-relatedposts-post-context { opacity: .6; } /* Hide the date by default, but leave the element there if a theme wants to use css to make it visible. */ .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post .jp-relatedposts-post-date { display: none; } /* Behavior when there are thumbnails in visual mode */ #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual div.jp-relatedposts-post-thumbs p.jp-relatedposts-post-excerpt { display: none; } /* Behavior when there are no thumbnails in visual mode */ #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post-nothumbs p.jp-relatedposts-post-excerpt { overflow: hidden; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual .jp-relatedposts-post-nothumbs span { margin-bottom: 1em; } /* List Layout */ #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-list .jp-relatedposts-post { clear: both; width: 100%; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-list .jp-relatedposts-post img.jp-relatedposts-post-img { float: left; overflow: hidden; max-width: 33%; margin-right: 3%; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-list h4.jp-relatedposts-post-title { display: inline-block; max-width: 63%; } /* * Responsive */ @media only screen and (max-width: 640px) { #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post { width: 50%; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post:nth-child(3n) { clear: left; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items-visual { margin-right: 20px; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 320px) { #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-items .jp-relatedposts-post { width: 100%; clear: both; margin: 0 0 1em; } #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-list .jp-relatedposts-post img.jp-relatedposts-post-img, #jp-relatedposts .jp-relatedposts-list h4.jp-relatedposts-post-title { float: none; max-width: 100%; margin-right: 0; } } /* * Hide the related post section in the print view of a post */ @media print { .jp-relatedposts { display:none ; } } .amp-logo amp-img{width:371px} .amp-menu input{display:none;}.amp-menu li.menu-item-has-children ul{display:none;}.amp-menu li{position:relative;display:block;}.amp-menu > li a{display:block;} /* Inline styles */ div.acss138d7{clear:both;}div.acss0dcba{--relposth-columns:3;--relposth-columns_m:3;--relposth-columns_t:3;}div.acss14262{aspect-ratio:16/9;background:transparent url(https://i0.wp.com/jerz.setonhill.edu/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Screenshot-2025-04-23-at-11.42.56%E2%80%AFAM.png?resize=150%2C150&ssl=1) no-repeat scroll 0% 0%;height:150px;max-width:150px;}div.acss020fa{color:#333333;font-family:Arial Narrow;font-size:11px;height:45px;}div.acss8977b{aspect-ratio:16/9;background:transparent url(https://i0.wp.com/jerz.setonhill.edu/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Paternoster_animated.gif?resize=150%2C150&ssl=1) no-repeat scroll 0% 0%;height:150px;max-width:150px;}div.acss34347{aspect-ratio:16/9;background:transparent url(https://i0.wp.com/jerz.setonhill.edu/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/tl_polaroid_august_wilson.png?resize=150%2C150&ssl=1) no-repeat scroll 0% 0%;height:150px;max-width:150px;}div.acss89d13{aspect-ratio:16/9;background:transparent url(https://i0.wp.com/jerz.setonhill.edu/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Screenshot-2025-04-08-at-9.12.44%E2%80%AFPM.png?resize=150%2C150&ssl=1) no-repeat scroll 0% 0%;height:150px;max-width:150px;}div.acss79008{aspect-ratio:16/9;background:transparent url(https://i0.wp.com/jerz.setonhill.edu/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/sisko-facepalm.jpeg?resize=150%2C150&ssl=1) no-repeat scroll 0% 0%;height:150px;max-width:150px;} .icon-widgets:before {content: "\e1bd";}.icon-search:before {content: "\e8b6";}.icon-shopping-cart:after {content: "\e8cc";}
Categories: AmusingCurrent_EventsHumanitiesPoliticsPopCult

UN Orders Wonka to Submit to Chocolate Factory Inspections

“The chocolate-making capabilities of Wonka’s heavily fortified compound have long been a source of speculation. Wonka, defying international calls for full disclosure, has maintained his silence regarding his factory’s suspected capacity to manufacture confections of mass deliciousness….’Without full inspections, there’s no earthly way of knowing which direction Wonka’s going. Not a speck of light is showing, so the danger must be growing. And he’s certainly not showing any signs that he is slowing. Are the fires of Hell a-glowing? Is the grisly reaper mowing? Who can provide the world with the answer to these pressing questions?’

“‘The candy man can,’ Rumsfeld added grimly.'”

[An Oompaloompa writes: “Just wanted to let you know that the Wonka article in The Onion was a wonderful pick-me-up this morning. Since I work for the corporation that produces the Wonka brand, it probably tickled me even more than some others.”] —UN Orders Wonka to Submit to Chocolate Factory InspectionsThe Onion)

Similar:

Shakespeare did not leave his wife Anne in Stratford, letter fragment suggests

Pater Noster Pedestrian Elevators

Notes on Teaching August Wilson's Pittsburgh Cycle

AP wins reinstatement to White House events after judge rules government can’t bar its jou...

By Inferno's Light #StarTrek #DS9 Rewatch (Season 5, Episode 15) Dominion / Cardassian edg...

In Purgatory's Shadow #StarTrek #DS9 Rewatch (Season 5, Episode 14) Garak answers a coded ...
Leave a Comment
Share
Published by
Dennis G. Jerz
22 years ago

    Related Post

  • Shakespeare did not leave his wife Anne in Stratford, letter fragment suggests

    It has long been assumed that William Shakespeare’s marriage to Anne Hathaway was less than…

  • Pater Noster Pedestrian Elevators

    Some 50 years ago, my father took me to his office in Washington, DC. I…

  • Notes on Teaching August Wilson’s Pittsburgh Cycle

    I first taught Wilson's Pittsburgh Cycle during an intensive 3-week online course during the 2020-21…

Recent Posts

Shakespeare did not leave his wife Anne in Stratford, letter fragment suggests

It has long been assumed that William Shakespeare’s marriage to Anne Hathaway was less than…

16 hours ago

Pater Noster Pedestrian Elevators

Some 50 years ago, my father took me to his office in Washington, DC. I…

16 hours ago

Notes on Teaching August Wilson’s Pittsburgh Cycle

I first taught Wilson's Pittsburgh Cycle during an intensive 3-week online course during the 2020-21…

1 week ago

AP wins reinstatement to White House events after judge rules government can’t bar its journalists

A federal judge ordered the White House on Tuesday to restore The Associated Press’ full…

2 weeks ago

By Inferno’s Light #StarTrek #DS9 Rewatch (Season 5, Episode 15) Dominion / Cardassian edgeplay and prison camp stratagems

Rewatching ST:DS9 After the recap of last week's "In Purgatory's Shadow," we see the Defiant,…

3 weeks ago

In Purgatory’s Shadow #StarTrek #DS9 Rewatch (Season 5, Episode 14) Garak answers a coded message as Dominion forces prepare to attack

Rewatching ST:DS9 Kira helps Odo re-adjust to life as a shape-shifter, obliviously but brutally friendzoning…

3 weeks ago