If they want to deliver a written paper, they need to understand that, no matter how short they think it is, the odds are against their finishing it. They need a conclusion they can jump to when they get the five-minute warning. That conclusion must be brief. Rather than reading a full paper, it’s better to summarize it and have copies of the full paper available. Presenters could also tell attendees that they will send copies to those who want them. Tell the presenters this: when you get the five-minute warning, do not take that to mean you must read the rest of the paper at double or triple normal reading speed. No one in the audience will be able to follow it, and you will probably hurt yourself. —Timothy J. Madigan —”Thank You Very Much. That’s All the Time You Have” (Academe)