Writing Effective Dialogue (Punctuation and Actions in Creative Writing)

Writing > Creative Writing

1. Omit the Obvious: Choose details that carry weight.

Good Example

“What makes dialogue work?” I asked, as soon as the door opened.

“You came all this way,” said the famous writer, “to ask me that?”

The above speeches are short, and the dialog labels convey valuable context, rather than random flash. The compact exchange requires just 25 words.
 

Compare with:

Bad Example

One day, after learning that a famous writer was staying in a remote cabin near my house, I decided to make the long journey to ask her how to use dialogue effectively. After a long journey, I managed to find where the author was staying, and knocked on his door. After a short delay, she opened the door. When I eagerly blurted out what I wanted, she seemed surprised by my question about dialogue.

Do we really need to be told “I managed to find where the author was staying”? Does it matter at all whether the narrator knocked or rang a doorbell? We all know how doors work. If nothing unexpected happened along the way, words stating that the journey took place are just filler.

Which details actually do matter?

The shorter version assumes the reader understands how doors and journeys and basic social interactions work.

  • The phrase “as soon as the door opened” already suggests urgency; there’s no need to tag the speech as “eagerly blurted out.”
  • The phrase “You came all this way” establishes a remote location, making journey descriptions redundant.
  • The italicized “that” conveys surprise.

2. Conserve Words.

Bad Example

“Is the secret of quoted speech all about tagging dialogue with powerful words?” I gushed torrentially, my eager words avalanching like reckless similes.

“Um,” she said, stepping back as if overwhelmed. She took a breath, then, shaking her head, gave her answer. “No.”

In my example, the phrases “gushed torrentially” and “like reckless similes” are intentionally tryhard. The description of the response is also weak.

Consider instead:

Good Example

“Does effective dialogue mean tagging speech with powerful words?” I blurted.

“Um…. no.”

The word “blurted,” the contrast in length, and the ellipsis (“…”) get the job done efficiently.

3. Use Silence and Details Strategically

Good Example

She looked at me for a few long seconds, then invited me inside.

“A good dialogue has a rhythm,” she explained. “Silences matter, too.”

The reader doesn’t need a list of what facial expression these characters are making, what they were wearing, or what the crackling fire sounded like.

Perhaps some details really are important.

An author might have the visitor ask the hermit author a question about the historic sword mounted over the fireplace, so that later when a horde of zombies bursts through that window, readers aren’t too surprised when suddenly a sword is available.

But typically an author would add those details late in the drafting process, after realizing that they are necessary to lay the groundwork for a later move.

4. Paraphrase for Variety.

Good Example

My host introduced me to the wonders of paraphrase, assuring me that “quotable nuggets” can grab a skimming reader.

5. Follow the Conventions.

Punctuation usually goes inside the closing quotation, with a few exceptions.

Good Example

She settled into an armchair. “Each speech gets its own paragraph,” she began.

“Kind of like a text message bubble?”

She laughed. “You could put it that way. Punctuation matters, too.”

“A comma at the end of a quoted passage keeps the pace moving,” I observed.

“But if your quote ends a sentence?” she asked, steepling her fingers. “Or you need to describe an action other than speaking?”

“Then commas probably aren’t strong enough.”

She nodded. “And when it’s obvious who’s speaking, a dialogue label is filler.”

6. Narrators Can’t See Their Own Faces

Bad Example

“What do you mean?” I say, my brows furrowing.

How do you know what your face looked like at that moment?

How do you know that “beads of sweat appeared on my forehead,” or that “the figure lurked unseen in the shadows behind me”?

You are breaking your contract with your reader by writing about what a camera would capture if it had been pointed at your face.

Writers can instead draw on a whole array of resources a camera cannot capture, such as the feelings, values, sensory details and a lifetime of memories that are at your disposal now, as you write about this event.

7. Know the Power Moves: Advanced Conventions

While skipping lines is standard online, MLA style expectations differ:

Good Example
  • Do NOT skip lines between paragraphs.
  • Indent the first line using the “tab” key (NOT five spaces).
  • Academic writing uses direct quotations as a source of evidence, not for “emphasis” or a way to invite scrutiny via “scare quotes.”

Pro tip:

A professor who sees “random quotation marks” in a formal assignment will want to know what document you are quoting.

 

8. Tricky Punctuation Reference Guide

Good Example

“Punctuation can be tricky,” Marissa said.

“Did you just say, ‘Punctuation can be sticky’?” Jordan asked.

“No, what I said was, ‘Punctuation can be tricky’!”

“Knowing when to use single and double quotation marks is a power move,” Jordan observed. “And it’s fine to continue a speech after a dialogue label.”

Knowing when to use single and double quotation marks and knowing how to close a quotation are power moves,” Jordan observed. “And It’s perfectly fine to continue a speech after a dialogue label, because the reader knows the same speaker is still talking.

“Did you notice that when the same speaker continues speaking more than one paragraph, the convention is NOT to use a closing quotation mark at the end of the previous paragraph?” Jordan continued. “Your professor will notice if you do that!”


31 Dec 2014 — first published.
09 Jun 2016 — minor edits.
27 Jan 2026 — major changes, turning what was a cozy literary example into a list of tips.

39 thoughts on “Writing Effective Dialogue (Punctuation and Actions in Creative Writing)

  1. Pingback: “What do you mean?” I say, my brows furrowing in confusion. - Is this a participial phrase? - English Vision

  2. just like in my class in barn burning (in the store in which the justice of the piece sat) everyone thought it was in a court. bt its actually in a store.
    thing is in plain sight when we are looking hard to find the setting.

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  4. Thank you so much for this Dennis G. Jerz.

    The way you presented this was done extremely well. I can already sense the piece of writing above is something which will forever change the way in which I think about anything I write, not just dialogue. I have long hoped to put together a piece of writing, though this is the first research I’ve ever done on how to even make a start on making a start, and to stumble onto something as excellent as this as my first exposure really makes me feel optimistic about finally putting something together. Likely to be one of the all-time classics of the future, and I will make a point of making a special mention to you when that day comes.

    Good on ya and thanks for sharing!

  5. Hi Dennis Jerz,

    I hope you can give me advice about a fiction story that I’m writing.
    I have to write it in narrator’s point of view. I have a part of the
    story written, it’s about a blind date the character the man thinks he
    has a lot in common with the character female. But the woman thinks
    he’s a creep.
    I can’t seem to think of a catchy dialogue to continue, so it’s sort
    of a struggle to write on.
    I know it’s all about using your imagination, but somehow I’m not
    getting to a point to make this happen.
    This paragraph (4) is what I have to continue, but I can’t seem to
    make it happen between the characters.

    “Hi, you must be Anthony?” Erin said, while their eyes met, she closed
    her purse.
    Anthony nodded somewhat surprised, he replied, “yeah….. and you must be Erin?
    Erin smiled, while she stuck out her hand, Anthony shook her hand.
    “Yeah…she nodded, I saw you sitting here at the booth, nice to meet
    you.” Erin said.
    “Nice to meet you too, please take a seat,” he gestured, Erin took a
    seat across from him, while she hung her coat over the seat, and
    tucked her purse beside her chair on the floor.

  6. I found this piece very enlightning as I have found my punctuation very suspect and has been commented about whilst I have been submitting course work ona a writing course. I have other faults but punctuation is probably my main problem along with my writing too fast and not reviewing my piece correctly. Any advice is totally welcome. Thanks again for the writing pointers you share with us.

  7. Pingback: Great moments from Pride and Prejudice | Jerz's Literacy Weblog

  8. wow this is awesome i am a creative writing student and I think this helped me finally understand dialogue

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  14. Pingback: Writing Effective Dialogue | Intro to Literary Study Spring 2015

  15. Pingback: Writing Effective Dialogue (Punctuation and Actions in Creative Writing) | Jerz’s Literacy Weblog | Jerz's Literacy Weblog

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