In the generic new remake of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” five kids — two girls, three boys — hop into a ’70s-era van and head to Dallas for a Lynyrd Skynyrd show. On the way, they stop to pick up a traumatized stranger, who promptly shoots herself in the head. With time still to make the show, the kids try to find a telephone so they can alert the authorities, only to wind up running (although jogging is what it looks like) for their lives from a houseful of maniac hillbillies. As the eviscerations ensue, the truth becomes undeniable: This is easily the most gruesome, most pointless, episode of “Scooby Doo” ever. —Wesley Morris —This new ‘Chainsaw’ doesn’t cut it (Boston Globe)