“We are here to demand an end to the shockingly casual placement of dangerous blades in our places of work,” said Tomb Raider star Lara Croft, who estimates that she has lost more than 600,000 lives to spinning, falling, swinging, and suddenly appearing blades this year alone. “This kind of thing has been going on since the days of Pitfall Harry, and it has got to stop.” —Video-Game Characters Denounce Randomly Placed Swinging Blades (The Onion (Satire))

This is an oldie.

It reminds me of Sigourney Weaver’s rant against the placement of “chompers” in the bowels of the ship in Galaxy Quest.