Our Publication Stands By the Decision to Give a Platform to the Sea Monster Trying to Devour Our Entire Town

We understand many readers find the kraken’s point of view dangerous, but that is why we offered it for public scrutiny and debate. Though Trallonous’ position may have seemed clear from the moment he regurgitated thousands of sailor bones to block every exit out of town, it is always important to critically examine where the other side is coming from. Doing so allows us to better understand the sea demon’s perspective (we should be his food) as well as our own (no we shouldn’t).

I went with frisse.

German uses esse “to eat” for people, but frisse “to feed on” for animals.   This is a bear, so “I am eating a potato” should naturally be “Ich frisse eine Kartoffel.”   But it’s an anthropomorphized talking bear, which implies the self-awareness of “Ich esse eine Kartoffel.”   But surely a bear that knows German grammar this well would chafe at the demeaning spectacle of performing for the privilege…