Were I duplicitous and talented enough I could convince you I’m anything: a ninth grader with body image issues . . . a divorcee with nothing left to live for . . . or a graduate student about to hit the job market. This entire blog could be an elaborate scam designed to evoke undeserved sympathy from you. To wit:

How do you know I’m a cancer survivor? I’ve mentioned it a couple of times. But am I to be trusted? —Scott Eric Kaufman —A Post in Two Parts: The First Will Bore You; The Second, Infuriate (Acephalous)