Hand over hand, he slid it up past the sinus that sphinctered and wheezed wetly around the plastic, and Jimmy grinned when the jug fogged with his breath, proving he’d made a tight seal. This egged him on as the tube caught for a moment against the back wall of his sinuses — a dull…
The BBC news item, Puzzle over three-headed frog (originally titled “‘Warning’ over three-headed frog”) spawned this story that swept the news media and the weblog circuit over the week following March 5th 2004. Briefly: staff and pre-school children at the Green Umbrella day nursery, Weston-super-Mare, UK, found the above. After they’d taken photos and a…
One problem with our effort to sanitize the language of all that might offend is that it leads to lunatic results. Just ask the music reviewer at the Los Angeles Times. Last month he reviewed an opera by Richard Strauss, which he described as “a glorious and goofy pro-life paean.” A diligent copy editor replaced…
“Mixed in with the usual stuff about CIA mind-control beams, talking dogs, and monkey-people, I heard him mention beta decay, instantons, density matrix, and subspaces of n-dimensional Riemannian manifolds,” Willard said. “I’m not sure where he got it, but he definitely seems to have had extensive schooling in theoretical physics. Man, what could’ve happened to…
Your worst nightmare has come true. (Or maybe your fondest wish – if you are a sick little puppy.) The dead no longer stay dead. Zombies are taking over the planet. So what do you do? Give up and become a shishkabob for one of the ever growing ranks of the undead? Not on your…
GREETINGS. MY BROTHER, THE LEADER OF A FOREIGN NATION, WAS RECENTLY DEPOSED BY A VIOLENT COUP THAT DESTROYED ALL KEYBOARDS CAPABLE OF PRODUCING LOWERCASE LETTERS… GREETINGS. I AM NOT THE BROTHER OF A RECENTLY DEPOSED LEADER OF A FOREIGN NATION WHERE KEYBOARDS DONT HAVE LOWERCASE LETTERS. I AM INSTEAD SOMEONE WHOSE WEBLOG HAS RECENTLY BEEN…
What woman could resist a wedding proposal in the form of a brand-new computer? Johnson popped the question by etching the message, “Will you do me the honor?” into the side of the machine.Photo: Courtesy Michael Johnson —With This Rig, I Do Thee Wed (Wired) Found via Work in Progress, where Julie Young prays, “Let…
“He had a maturity beyond his age.” — security guard Jason Armstrong —Man dies in 11-storey fall (Ottawa Sun) The quote above is applied to a university student who accidentally hurled himself over a balcony. The student was an engineering major, who apparently wasn’t clear on the concept of momentum, as he charged a balcony railing…
[O]n Feb. 20, 1954 — President Dwight Eisenhower interrupted his vacation in Palm Springs, Calif., to make a secret nocturnal trip to a nearby Air Force base to meet two extraterrestrial aliens. Or maybe not. Maybe Ike just went to the dentist. There’s some dispute about this. —Peter Carlson —Ike and the alien ambassadors (M$ NBC)…
I’m busy working on the new t-shirt order page and getting the forums back up and running, but I don’t think you care. All you want are more emotions. You all are animals! Animals I tell you! —Emo Eric —Eric Conveys an EmotionEmotionEric.com) From “Happiness” to “Getting a great idea… while falling to your doom,”…
Avalanche is a great word. Its onomatopoeia is horrific. The very syllables bring to mind a Frenchman tumbling down a mountainside, until he meets his demise in a crunching vortex of snow and rock and ice: “Ahhhh…vahhh…laaaaaaaa…uNNCHHH!” — Mike Arnzen —Oddly Chilling Thoughts (The Goreletter) Similar:The Ascent #StarTrek #DS9 Rewatch (Season 5, Episode 9) Odo and…
Crucially, Mr Medjahdi said he could see no photographers anyway near the car, despite initial police suspicions that they might have distracted the driver. “I got a complete picture from my side and rear-view mirrors of what was happening beside me. There was no other vehicle in my field of vision. I saw no cars…
“If they are allowed to experiment and do things on the computers that the teachers have not specifically given them permission to do, we would never get any computer education accomplished.” Beverly Sweeney, middle school teacher involved in the suspension of a student who used a DOS command to send the word “Hey!” to 80…
A good man-eating plant needs a deep root structure to anchor it in place when the man it’s eating flails and fights for its life. So the deeper the seed, the stronger the root system. This is why you need so much blood meal. The man-eating plant doesn’t care where it gets its blood. Whether…
My sister let herself into my hotel room and sat on the edge of my bed. I said: “This was awful. I threw up in front of two members of the search committee.” Her response was kind and gentle: “It could have been worse. You could have thrown up on two members of the search…
The machine’s inventors are somewhat vague about what the food simulator will actually be used for, but they suggest that it will be helpful in designing new foods… —Lawrence Osborne —Food Simulator, The (NY Times (will expire)) Here’s the PowerPoint business plan these guys must have followed. Step 1. Invent a device that can simulate the…
BAGHDAD, Iraq, Nov. 28 (UPI) — Thousands of Iraqis took to Baghdad’s streets Friday condemning terrorism and urging a halt to political violence. ‘ [OK… so far, so good.] The demonstrators shouted “death to terrorists”… [Gaak! This sounds like a bad MadTV skit. Were these demonstrators paying attention to the supposed purpose of their event?…
If Michael Jackson did not have all his surgery over the years, this is how he might look at the age of 45. —Michael Jackson Aging (ForArtist.com) Click the link to see the images… I’m too lazy to make thumbnails tonight. Similar:The Ascent #StarTrek #DS9 Rewatch (Season 5, Episode 9) Odo and Quark bicker their way…
Doctors say Mrs Roberts, who was born and bred in Indiana, has a condition called foreign accent syndrome. | This rare condition occurs when part of the brain becomes damaged. This can follow a stroke or head injury. There have only been a few documented cases. —Stroke Gives Woman British Accent (BBC) This article conflates the…
A Picture is Worth… Sigh. Do you remember when Jackson was black? As an academic, I try to keep an open mind… but in my humble opinion, this very talented man is really, really disturbing. I assume the mugshot, which I found on Drudge, is the same one that won’t show up when I try…