Welcome to the exciting world of hurricane journalism!

While your highly paid colleagues on the anchor desk are broadcasting from the dry safety of a heavily fortified television studio, you and your camera crew will be out in the maw of the storm, risking your lives for no good reason.

? What you should wear: Always choose the flimsiest rain jacket available, to visually dramatize the effect of strong winds. All foul-weather gear should be brightly colored in the event you’re swept out to sea or sucked down a drainage culvert, and someone actually goes searching for you.

—On the beach, waiting for Frances (Miami Herald)

When the reporters write a story about the reporters waiting around waiting for news to happen, you know it’s time to go reorganize your sock drawer.