Happy Person Wearing Headphones (unknowingly blocking access to salad bar; to friends): Ha ha!
Me (with crouton tongs in one hand and salad plate in the other; cheerfully): Excuse me.
Happy Person Wearing Headphones (to friends): Ha ha ha!
Me (less cheerfully): Excuse me…
Happy Person Wearing Headphones (to friends) Ha ha ha ha!
Me (a little louder): Excuse me?
Happy Person Wearing Headphones (backing up into my food plate) Ha ha ha ha ha!
Me: Whoa! (Pulling plate out of the way.) Excuse me!
Formerly Happy Person Who Has Just Removed Headphones and Turned Around: (cold glare)
Me: (awkwardly scooping croutons) I was worried you’d bump my salad and get dressing on your back.
Formerly Happy Person Who Is Now Glaring Coldly: It’s cool.
(Later, in my anxiety-fueled imagination.)
Formerly Happy Person Who Is Now Upset: At lunch today, some guy who really needs to chill hated on me for no reason.
