Headphones, Croutons and Rhetoric

Happy Person Wearing Headphones (unknowingly blocking access to salad bar; to friends): Ha ha!

Me (with crouton tongs in one hand and salad plate in the other; cheerfully): Excuse me.

Happy Person Wearing Headphones (to friends): Ha ha ha!

Me (less cheerfully): Excuse me…

Happy Person Wearing Headphones (to friends) Ha ha ha ha!

Me (a little louder): Excuse me?

Happy Person Wearing Headphones (backing up into my food plate) Ha ha ha ha ha!

Me: Whoa! (Pulling plate out of the way.) Excuse me!

Formerly Happy Person Who Has Just Removed Headphones and Turned Around: (cold glare)

crouton_7059Me: (awkwardly scooping croutons) I was worried you’d bump my salad and get dressing on your back.

Formerly Happy Person Who Is Now Glaring Coldly: It’s cool.

(Later, in my anxiety-fueled imagination.)

Formerly Happy Person Who Is Now Upset: At lunch today, some guy who really needs to chill hated on me for no reason.