“These are desperate times, and desperate times call for desperation. Therefore, it is with a heavy heart that I am duty-bound to alert America to the clear and present danger posed by Mel Brooks. I first became suspicious of Mr. Brooks when the Enron scandal broke. My suspicions only grew as other examples of “aggressive accounting procedures” became public, bringing down such companies as Arthur Andersen and WorldCom. These fears were based on my intimate knowledge of the plot points of Brooks’s 1967 film The Producers…” Steve Mirsky [I’m reminded of the inescapable words of Dark Helmut, from Brooks’s Spaceballs: “Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.” Thanks for the suggestion, Marnie.–DGJ] —The 2000-Year Old MenaceScientific American)