She resolved to end the love affair with Ramon tonight . . . summarily, like Martha Stewart ripping the sand vein out of a shrimp’s tail . . . though the term “love affair” now struck her as a ridiculous euphemism . . . not unlike “sand vein,” which is after all an intestine, not a vein . . . and that tarry substance inside certainly isn’t sand . . . and that brought her back to Ramon. —Dave Zobel —Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest: 2004 Results  (Bulwer-Lytton.com)

Note… the website isn’t announcing “winners”. There’s a reason…