(autistics.org)
This web page is a step-by-step set of instructions advising autistic boys how to manage an important social ritual. Janet Villar —Asking a Girl on a Date
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Pingback: In April, 2002, I was blogging about an autistic person’s guide to asking a girl on a date; The Inform 6 Beginner’s Guide; broken links; -- Jerz's Literacy Weblog (est. 1999)
Updated with a working link.
what can i ask a girl i want to go on a date with and thing i can ask her being the first time talking to her
Anthony, I posted a link to an article that gave step-by-step instructions for boys with autism. I was more interested in the instructions than in the dating advice they gave. The instructions are now offline, but I remember that they were very basic. “If you ask her whether she wants to go to see this particular movie on Friday night, and she says no, then ask her if she’s free to see a different movie on a different night. If she still says no, then she doesn’t want to go out with you.”
I’m a college English teacher, not a relationship counselor, so I’m afraid I can’t offer any help, other than saying “be yourself”. You’ve already got her interest. If she shows up next week, you shouldn’t construct a false identity just to keep her around. Can you ask some female friends, or the girlfriend or sister of somebody who knows you well?
Hello! (sorry I don’t know your name.)
Well I have what I may call a problem. Here is a little but funny story.
I’m an African, but live and study here in Russia. Last week, I went to send money home through Western Union Money Transfer. There was a lady there. She was the person that attended to me. The way she was looking at me from the time I came there till the time I left, has left me confused.
I completed all the forms(writing my name, receivers name, amount to be sent, secrete questions and so on). She gave me my control number, then when I was about to go home, the way she was looking at me made me to ask for her phone number. She immediately wrote it down for me. I gave her mine too. There, i asked whether we can see each other and talk. She replied “ofcourse why not”. But she said she will not be free from work till next 1 week. So we agreed to meet at one park in one week time. That was how I met this girl. To be sincere, I seem to like her, because she looks that charming, and the way she was looking at me confused me the more. She is beautiful too.
Now comes my problem. Please as we are to meet in one weeks time. What advice would you give me because I may not like to loose this girl.(I don’t have any girl friend). We are going to talk to each other, how do I converse with her, how do I talk to her to keep that attraction going on. Which things do we talk about. Here is my GREATEST PROBLEM. Sometimes I find it very very very difficult to bring up topics of discussion when I’m talking with a girl. What do I discourse. I would also appreciate your advice on my body language to use. Unfortunately again I’m very shy but I don’t want it to be a barrier from me capturing this pretty chick I guess God drooped for me. I guess I?m not too bad looking then. There have been 8 girls who have shown interest in me but I?ve never taken up on the chance. I’m serious and I will be counting on you for your advice.
This is going to be the first time, I will be dating a girl, so I considered it very important to start on a good ground. Waiting to hear from you. Please your professional advice will be highly appreciated.
From Anthony.
will you out with me
Maybe write a note? Or ask a friend of hers to find out whether she’s seeing anyone? Maybe somebody with more recent dating experience would be a better person to ask!
I really like this girl because shes a lot like me, and i would love to go on a date with her, and today i was gonna ask her out and i froze how can i overcome this and work up the courage to ask her out
I haven’t had to deal with that particular problem for over 10 years now, but if you’re imagining that there is a secret password that will work every time, for all women, in all situations, then you’re going to end up disappointed.
when we first meet a girl that we like?what question do we ask to attract her? i really need this information…
Whoops, it looks like that links is dead. I couldn’t find it Google’s cache or on the Wayback archive… sorry! It was pretty good… the instructions suggested that an autistic boy should make the invitation specific — “Would you like to go see Movie X on Friday.” If she says no, she may be busy that day or she may not be interested in the movie, but the instructions suggest that the boy try again with a different movie and time. If she says no both times, then she doesn’t want to go out with you.
I actually learned a lot about autism from the way these instructions broke down an important cultural ritual into a few basic steps, interpreting each one along the way.