“A neighbour – an eminent retired politician, philanthropist and keen ornithologist – has just acquired an owl whistle, beautifully crafted from wood. When blown, it makes a most realistic toowooo…. The next day, another neighbour – a retired military man and also an ornithologist – showed me his latest toy, coincidentally also an owl whistle…. It is quite clear that these two gentlemen have been hooting to each other, with no actual owl involved.” Name withheld, Somerset —Your Problems Solved (U.K. Advice Column) (Spectator)

Oh, those lovable, eccentric Brits.