Every conversation between a parent and a child, in four conversations. (Slate)

This whole item applies very well to one of my children.

Me: Put your shoes on.
Child: Did you know that we don’t actually vote for president, we vote for people who vote for president?
Me: I don’t care, put your shoes on.
Child: I am.
Me: You’re not. Put your shoes on.
Child: Why do we have shoes anyway?
Me: Just put your shoes on.
Child: That reminds me, where are my shoes?
Me: What? They’re right there! Right next to your feet!
Child: Oh, these shoes?