It’s not that I don’t love talking to you, dude. Of course I do—you’re my best friend! And you’ve been my best friend since we were kids. I still remember how we met in Mrs. Wilson’s class: You let me copy your social studies homework, exemplifying how you’re always willing to help people, even if it means breaking the rules a little. But who am I kidding, I don’t have to tell you that.
I just wish we could hang out like we used to, without me having to heavy-handedly explain things we both already know, you know? –Simon Henriques, McSweeney’s
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