CNN/Reuters: News reports have filtered out early this morning that US forces have swooped down on an Iraqi primary school and captured 6th- grade teacher Mohammed al-Hazar. Sources indicate that, when arrested, Al-Hazar was in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a geo-board, base-10 blocks, algebra tiles, a computer, a data projector and a graphing calculator.

President George W. Bush proclaimed that this was clear and overwhelming evidence that Iraq indeed possessed weapons of math instruction.

New Evidence: Protracted Calculations from Iraqi RulerE-Mail)

This version floating around on e-mail (thanks, Rosemary) is an improvement upon the apparent source on BrokenNewz.