At Shards O’ Glass Freeze Pops, we believe in doing the right thing. Our products are intended for adults and as such, we only market to them. While some studies suggest that over 80% of our adult customers started eating Shards O’ Glass Freeze Pops before the age of 18, the intent of our marketing efforts is to encourage customers to switch glass pop brands and not to get young people to start licking. In fact, we’ve introduced a million dollar youth prevention campaign with the highly effective slogan “Licking Glass Pops as a teen? Then you’re missing the point!” —Responsible Marketing (Shards O’ Glass Freeze Pops)

Preceded by the SNL “bag o’ glass” skit from the 1970s. Still pretty good.