Writing bad poetry is easy when you disregard meter, pace, and rhyming scheme. Just make sure to follow a few simple guidelines:

1. Never write about anything cheerful. Remember, you are a tortured artist. Be one.

2. Be sure to use the following words at least once per sentence, no fewer than 50 times per poem: lament, loathe, soul, darkness, bitter, agony, despair, misery, anguish, pain, suffer, woe, hate, death, love, sultry, angel, rose, acrid and nihilism. Nihilism is a good one because it comes up all the time in normal conversations. —How to become an obnoxious internet cam whore in five easy steps.  (Maddox)

Just in case this professor gig doesn’t work out, thanks to Torill, I might have an alternative.

The pictures on the site are hilarious — and the text is spot on.