Area Eccentric Reads Entire Book

Satire from The Onion.

While it’s difficult to imagine what compelled Meyer to read more than just the back cover of To Kill a Mockingbird, friends and family members claim the strange behavior goes all the way back to his childhood.

“I remember when Phil was a little kid, instead of picking up a
book, getting bored, and then throwing it at his sister, he’d actually
sit down and read the whole thing,” said mother Susan Meyer, who
declared she has long given up trying to explain her son’s unusual
hobby. “At the time, we thought it was just a phase he was going
through. I guess we were wrong.”

Over the years, Meyer has read dozens of books from beginning to
end, regardless of whether he was forced to do so by a professor in
school or whether a film version of the reading material already
existed. According to girlfriend Jessica Kohler, he even uses a special
cardboard marking device so that he can keep track of where he has
stopped reading and later return to that exact same place.